continuing from my talk thing

I spaced the fact that I never talked about giving my talk... what I decided is there's a cruel and unavoidable process in being a youth speaker... it's what I call the nervous speaker cycle... It starts with being assigned your talk... usually a week before by your ym/yw leader so you get your topic and date, so you tell yourself you'll write it tomorrow, and when you don't do that you write it the next day, and the next and so on till you find yourself at saturday night/sunday morning... you have a general idea but don't konw how to say it. So you write up this page long, or paragraph in my case of just nonsense made pretty and you feel pretty confident in it, until you sit in those unusually comfortable chairs... then you hit a wall of nerve wracking good (scribble) BADness haha it's not bad your heart picks up and you think you feel sweat but it's not till the chapel starts filling that you hit wall #2 now I think my leaders are out to get me because they always assign me to talk on the same day a really popular person is giving a farewell, that makes it so you see the chapel and the cultural hall and beyond fill up and you know there's people sitting on each other's laps in the hall on the comfy couches and you get more and more nervous then when you sing the first song you feel sick, the sacrament gets to you and you're sweating bricks, then they say your name and it's all over... you're hearts goin 250 miles per hour your happy your wearing an undershirt and a coat cause you're pretty sure it's 109 degrees in there and when you talk you can't say what you wanted to and all your friends were strategically placed where there's nowhere but down to look without laughing... then after you get all the good jobs even though you know they're laughing inside... ah good times